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How to discuss and cope with your partners bad habits

How to discuss and cope with your partners bad habits

When you ask people what makes relationship unsatisfying, many will point out big issues like failure to stay faithful or cheating. Maybe someone was not ready to commit, or a partner is very argumentative. However, in reality, the things that make most relationships unhappy are not these big issues, but the small annoying bad habits that build up with time and kill the grateful exchanges and exciting activities. It is, therefore, important to discuss and agree on a way forward about how to break the bad habits if you are to have a long-term, satisfying relationship.


The first thing you need to do is discuss the bad habits, and you should ensure you use a private, safe space at an appropriate time. You should be very keen on the context and location of your discussion, so your partner fully absorbs what you say. Avoid starting to discuss the issue in public settings as you might embarrass your partner and they will feel as if it is a personal attack. Remember that the discussion is out of the love you have for your partner, and you want to improve both the life of your partner as well as build your relationship. So, you must make the discussion a very positive experience.


After initiating the discussion in a positive way, you now have to agree on how you are going to manage the problem. Ensure your partner understands the impact of their actions and let them know how you want them to improve in the relationship. As much as their bad habits irritate you, you still love this person, and you want them to break the habit. So agree on a plan that focuses on the underlying dynamics and issues of their habit.

Break the habit

The next important step is to effectively break the habit and avoid repeating the same mistake again. This will require a lot of effort, especially if it is something that the person has been doing for a long time. One of the best ways to break the habit is by introducing another positive habit. For instance, if you had a habit of being highly critical of your partner, you can try replacing that habit with being more appreciative of the little things you see in your partner.

Remove the habit initiator

Through evaluating your bad habits, you will be able to find out what is causing it and immediately remove the habit initiator. Maybe it is excessive alcohol intake that is making you have your bad habits, or it is a lack of self-confidence. Whatever the cause is, ensure you address it to be able to completely remove the habit initiator and prevent future occurrences of the same habit.

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