How to get the best from online dating?
Getting ready for a first date with somebody you met online is a nerve wracking experience for anybody especially for the 55-65 year old age group. A recent survey says that this age group is set to experience the biggest growth over the next decade in relation to online dating.
If you are a mature dater how can you avoid falling for the mistakes most people make when dating online and increase your success rate at finding a new partner. We have the following advice to give you a head start in the dating game.
Poor quality photos
This is one of the most important aspects of your online profile, get this wrong and you could be saying goodbye to a lot of potential suitors. Make sure that it is a recent image, in focus and you are not too far away from the lens. The power of a well taken photo can do wonders to boost your profile and has been proved to increase your chances of receiving messages by as much as 11%
The mature generation are still getting to grips with social media such as Facebook and Snapchat and are not used to communicating this way. One of the worst things people do is to hide their age by using photos from 10 years ago, this will not work and you will be found out when you meet up which will not be fair on your date.
You don't need to be a photography or a Selfie expert to get a good photo. If you need help get a friend or family member to take your picture and help you choose the best one to upload. It's best to post 4 different types, a smart look, casual, performing a hobby and a holiday shot.
Try to include a full body picture and that it's just you in the shot so people can't get confused as to who owns the profile.
Lying about your age
This is the same bad practice as using younger photos on your profile. Saying you're younger than you actually are is not going to do you any favours as any potential partner will discover that you have lied to them and that will seriously damage the trust between you both.
It's often thought that just the ladies do this but it's not men feel the need to tell a little white lie also but be truthful it will benefit you more in the long run.
Don't be ambiguous
If you are new to the online dating world then writing your profile can be a little daunting at first. Describing your qualities and interests is not the easiest process but get it right and it will lead to meeting people you can really get along with.
Try to be as clear as possible about what you get up to in your life and what kind of a person you are looking to meet. The more detail you provide will give the other person an idea what it would be like to spend time with you. Nobody would be excited to read I love dogs and shopping so don't be vague, if you're passionate about something then say so.
You could also attract somebody with the same interests and hobbies that you both would enjoy taking part in together.
Which site to go for?
There are thousands of dating sites on the internet and they cater for all types of niche markets. The best advice is to stick with the big brand versions if you're getting into online dating for the first time. There are sites out there that are free but many people joining these sites are not 100% serious about dating and have just joined for a nosey.
The sites that charge a small membership fee usually have members that take dating seriously and are looking for partners that are also seeking a serious relationship.
Balance the messaging
So you've found somebody online who's great to chat to but it can be very tempting if you're not careful to spend hours typing huge messages which can be a real mistake. Not writing enough is at the opposite end of the scale, you have to get the balance right. Typing too long messages and the other person gets really put off having to wait for a reply.
If you type too short a message such as "hi" it sends the message that you are lazy.
Have some generic messages already thought up and typed out that you can drop in. Even if it's "Hi, I liked your photo on your profile and thought I would get in touch with you." You can always add extra bits to it that you have gleaned from their profile biog. This also shows that you have read their profile and are interested in finding out more about them.
A good question is "What made you interested in dating online." This will give you an idea what the other person is looking for and if they fit in with what you're looking for in a potential date.
Being aware of your safety
Most dating sites have systems in place to keep their members safe and this has never been more important than when meeting strangers online. Newspapers regularly report of daters being tricked into sending large sums of money to people and then never hearing anything again from the person or their money.
Anybody that approaches you online with horror stories about their lives, starts proclaiming a lot of affection for you or asking for money to help them get over a difficult time then this is when the alarm bells should start ringing. You wouldn't expect somebody in the pub to ask you for money and so you shouldn't online as well.
If this happens then you need to report the persons profile and cease communicating with them immediately. The dating website safety team will investigate and delete the persons profile if they discover anything they believe to be dangerous. Singles 4 Love has a 24/7 moderation team using sophisticated anti-scam software to weed out and delete any scammers from the system.
What about the first date?
Most people find that a week or 2 of chatting online is about right to get to know somebody to the point that you both feel it's right to arrange a date. Most people join dating sites to find a partner not a penpal so if you are both happy to move to the next level then arrange to meet for a coffee or a quick drink.
This is more preferable than organising a full blown 3 course meal in a local restaurant. If you decide that the person is not for you then you can make a quick and dignified exit in an hour or so. If the date is going well you can stay longer and arrange for a second date doing something that you both would enjoy taking part in.
And finally ...
Just because you are mature in age does not mean that you won't enjoy dating online. You have a lot to offer and bring to a relationship and you will be far more outgoing and confident than you were as a teenager.
Most people online have a past history but they are willing to make things work if you are in return so embrace the modern technology and just go for it. If you don't give it a try you might miss that sexy partner waiting to meet you just a click away.