How you can be great at dating
If you're playing in the world of the dating game you'll probably be spending all your hard earned money, time and energy trying to find a really cool partner to spend those long cosy nights at home with. Isn't there a better easier way to find love online?
Well there is and luckily for you thousands of research studies have been performed on thousands of unlucky subjects to find out all the dating mistakes they have made so that you don't have to.
All this knowledge will go a long way in helping us find out what works and possibly increase our chances of finding "the one." Be advised though that even with all this data to hand it's still not guaranteed to find you your ideal love tomorrow.
Below we have pulled together some of the best bits from relationship surveys to help you become better in the dating game.
Date as often as you possibly can
Peter Pearson a couples psychologist says that singletons need to "date as often as they can manage or tolerate" to figure out what they want from a relationship. The only way to discover what you like and dislike in a partner is to hang out with as many different personalities as possible. The benefits of this approach gives you an insight into what you need to do to be able to attract someone with the characteristics you're looking for and how you can make that relationship work.
Make sure you have some fun
Nobody likes to hang out with a misery pants so when going on dates you need to up the fun levels. This may not sound like ground breaking information but so many people have said this is what turns them off a potential date. You need to showcase how much of a fun person you are and how much fun you are to be around and to be with.
Some of the most successful online dating photos include not just selfies but group shots with friends. To really hit the spot get in the middle of the action and touch someone else - preferably on the upper arm. The research also discovered that women found the man more attractive when there were other women in the photo smiling at him. The research team advises that it be wise to go with caution here as if it's not done right it could back fire on you.
Selfies can also play their part especially if you are showing a genuine smile with your head tilted slightly. Women can increase their sex appeal by wearing red and it's been discovered that men in a blue shirt can increase their attractiveness by nearly 30%.
Get talking to each other
An American Journal of Sociology survey in 2013 of nearly 1,000 dates looked at what made people click with a particular date. Students were asked to join in a series of speed dating events and their dates were recorded and analysed by computer. After each date the students filled in a form saying how they felt about each potential date and if they fancied going on a real date.
Women surveyed turned out to be the most selective as to who they felt a connection with but both men and women said they felt they clicked more when the conversation between then was focused on the woman. Keep the conversation light and fun and don't forget to pick up on small details your date has mentioned and enquire further. This will enable you to become closer more quickly.
Using the 70:30 rule to get more matches
If you want to achieve more matches from your online dating profile it's time to start using the 70:30 rule. The art of this trick is to devote 70% of your profile to who you are and the remaining 30% is dedicated to what you are looking for in a partner. A study conducted of personal ads revealed that both men and women were turned off by profiles that concentrated 100% on the writer.
The writer came across as self-centered and egotistical. The flip side of this research also discovered that writing less than 70% made them appear shady as if they had something to hide from the reader.
Can apprehension be made to work for you?
Most people admit that a first date is a nerve wracking occasion, but anxiety doesn't have to get the better of you. In a study in 2010 researchers looked to discover how, if self-assuredness is an attractive quality how can insecure people date successfully? It was discovered that shy romantic people can channel all their nervousness into behaviours that generate more attractive characteristics.
A person nervous at talking can in fact be a brilliant conversationalist and shy people that hind behind a wall of jokes turn out to be great at dating as humour is a great dating quality. The researchers noted that insecure people who put a positive spin on life ended up being perceived as more attractive than the people who came across as secure.
Don't leave them wondering
Debate has raged on the internet as to how long to leave it till you contact your new date, is an hour too short, what about a day? Or shall I wait till next week? The best advice is to "Just go for it." A study from the University of California revealed that waiting too long to a message can backfire on you. In their study of 182,000 couples they found that for every day that went past from the first hello the chances of getting a response went down by 7%.
This may seem insignificant but if you were to wait a month your chances go down by almost a fifth.
The researchers also say that from their studies there is no such thing as a quick reply so if you are serious about the person it's best to not take your chance by waiting, make contact now.
When's the best time to meet
Movies would have us all believe that the perfect date will be something from a romantic comedy with Julia Roberts. A candle light meal followed by a walk along a moonlit beach with a kiss on the doorstep in the gently falling rain. But what if the date is going horribly wrong then you and your never to meet again date will be stuck with a 3 course meal to get through.
Dating experts suggest that you forget the romantic ideas of oysters and roses and go for a drink or two instead in a local friendly bar.
A couple of hours with some alcohol lowers our inhibitions, reduces awkwardness and you can chat and have more fun. This kind of dating is easier on your time and wallet and if it should go downhill you can make a swift and graceful exit in an hour or less. If on the other hand it's going well you can hang out getting to know each other better and work out a plan for another meet doing something that you both would enjoy.
So there you have it our advice to become better at dating. So it's now time to get out there and as they say in the movies go forth and date young Jedi - or probably they didn't. Remember that a huge part of the dating game is failure which provides a great learning opportunity on the way to finding your true love or at least an enjoyable evening.