Ten top tips NOT to do on a first date
First dates are always the worse part of a new relationship and you don't want to go and blow it by doing or saying the wrong things, especially if you want to see them again. Here's our tips from discussing too much about sex, talking politics, getting drunk to asking women to foot the bill.
All relationships have to start somewhere and usually it's the dreaded first date. Surviving that nerve wracking first hurdle relies on a little chemistry and some good conversation. To avoid your first date turning into a disaster follow our top tips to give you a great chance of seeing that special person for a second time.
Conquer your first date nerves
Most people heading off on a first date have some nerves because we would not be human if not, either that or you have been on so many first dates it's become the norm. The easiest way to conquer the nerves is to imagine what the other person must be feeling and keep the conversation simple. They will be in the same boat as you and will be just as anxious and nervous as you are. During your date you might be thinking that this person is "the one" but don't let that come across in your conversation. A first date is renown for being full of nerves so have some fun and don't get too heavy on the first date.
Be observant and listen
As it's a stressful situation you have just put yourself in it's important to concentrate and listen to what the other person is telling you. Pick up on things they have said and ask questions that answer things they have not covered. Asking questions about something they have just told you can ruin the date. For a successful first date the key thing to remember is to listen carefully and spark the other person's interest by asking questions based on what they like and have told you about.
This is a date not a job interview
It may seem like you are interviewing for a new partner but in reality it's a date and the two are entirely different things. One of the pitfalls many people fall into is to fire questions across the table at the other person. Take it easy you don't want the other person walking away feeling like they have just had a job interview, chances are they will not be back for a second helping.
So how do you start a conversation
So you have bagged a first date, that's great, so what happens now. The key is not to start with yourself as this is the biggest mistake people make. Talking constantly about yourself in the hard sell approach is never going to work. A better way to make your date like you is if you take an interest in them. Try to connect with them and bond as a couple, make them feel good instead of trying to show what a fantastic person you are.
Politics is a no, no
It may be all the news on the TV but in reality chat about politics is not on the sexy list. This can also be a minefield of danger especially if your date's political views are not the same as yours. Don't let your date end before it's even started. There's more yes and no topics of conversation at the bottom of this article.
Sex is a taboo subject
Tread lightly on this subject if you really want to proceed to the second date. Discussing sex on a first date can be a very toxic topic. Your new date will most likely not want to hear about your sexual conquests no matter how good or funny they might have been. If you're lucky and the date went really well you may get to the sex part after the date.
Drink in moderation
Most people going on a first date will feel nervous so a quick drink when you arrive can help to relieve the stress. Know when enough is enough as 6 pints of larger is not going to help the situation and you want to be bright and happy for your date not spending the rest of the night in the toilet being ill.
Who should pay the bill
This topic stirs up many views about should the guy, should the girl or should the bill be spit. A recent survey says that only 68% of men treat their partner on a first date. The other 32% may decide to pay for economic issues such as if the man is recovering financially from a divorce. Some women prefer to pay than go through an uncomfortable conversation. In the 21st century chivalry is not dead it's only true if you let it be so. The guy should offer to pay and agree that on future dates the bill is split or the girl picks up the tab on the next date.
Giving mixed messages
While on a date most people think to themselves does this person really like me? It's important to let your date know how you really feel towards them. Saying one thing and thinking another is never really going to work out. Don't tell your date that you are really into them but then follow it up with but I'm not ready for a relationship. If the date is not working be brave enough to say so and you can both move on. Your partner will appreciate you more for your honesty than for the fact that the dates not worked out.
5 Topics to avoid on a first date
5 Topics to talk about on a first date
- The Ex'
- Sexual preferences
- Your hobbies and interests
- Family and growing up
- Your career
- Holidays and vacations